 Ariusik (Aries) - Mi planavoreq chanapar meknel ev mi spaseq Amerikayi despanatnic drakan patasxan. Meka consule mard chi. Harevan Grishike kpordzi dzer vra keght brnel shabat ore. Hajord shabate hajoghutyun kberi polniy krisutyan asparezum. Benzini gine eli enknelu e anspaselioren. Kiraki ore kberi goghakan equilibriumi. Aysuhetev entanekan kyanki entropian ijnelu e. Isk dzer serakan kyanki divergencian anpopox e mnalu. Ch'vnuskves!  Tavros (Taurus) - Santexnik kanchele vat mitk e. Ete taki harevanneri mot eli jura hosum potolokic, hangist qfrtek drants. Meka razbirat risk chen ani, intelligent mardik en. Ays shabat koxki shenkic leviy gits qashele xist argelvum e. Urbat ore kareli e pokrishka goghanal. Ch'habrges!  Geminulik (Gemini) - Lokh lava. Meka mer verje pulpulaka, tak chto hangist habrgi, gyuli, piski, spani, koghopti. Bulvari koxke semushka chrtele xist argelvum e astgheri koxmits. Oh, mek el vernisazhum tatikneri vra karas hangist nalog dnes. Dranq shat xore aghves paravner en haa. Ch'larves!  Rak (Cancer) - Du vabshe xi es stegh ekel? Teghovd rak es eli, el kez petka horroscope-morroscope. Ver enki teghd u gortsd minchev verj tar. Meka voch mek chi imana vor du erek prospekti vra 3 zham ppzel es u Moskva restorani pahakin es lakotakan silel. Hamenayn deps, astghere tsuyts en talis vnushkekov, depressnyakov, abizhalovkayov, sxal atnasheninerov, abarzet linelov u sushnyakov letsun shabat. Ch'mantoyes!  Aryuts (Leo) - Vobshim, sents. Lav shabata tamada linelu hamar, aynuhetev trash toghnelu, loghanalu, kndvelu, bakenbard achatsnelu, jrikanalu, apushanalu, taza kostumov titizanalu u papayi mercedesov pizhonanalu. I dep bordyuri vra tqelu hamar sa klini lavaguyn shabate. Ete duq ghaydin anunov bordyurnerin tqogh eq, apa mi korcreq dzer hnaravorutyune. En gangur mazerov xuchuchik nanare verjapes dzer vra ushadrutyun e dardznelu, ev duq irar het XOSALU EQ. Zhogovurd jan, tzhatseq!  Verzhine (Virgo) - Jupiteri dirqe tsuyts e talis tught u git aneluts mets bavararutyun. Aynuhetev hajogh shabat klini dzer zokanchi glux utelu hamar. Heru mnatsek ankap u desheviy razbirat aneluts, kani vor ayn barenpast chi. Urish kanants het kino gnale xist argelvum e (namanavand "Gladiator" kinon), sakayn kafeyum trubochkov dobriy nstele tuylatrvum e. Ch'tarapes!  Lirba (oops, I mean Libra) - Zguysh mnatseq Errord masi militsa u voenniy policia-ic. Ete duq zorakochin partakan eq, apa astghere xorhurd en talis taqnvel Norki podvalnerum. Ete duq dezertir eq, apa astghere xorhurd en talis paxnel depi Kirovakan (Vanadzor). Ete duq dvoynoy dezertir eq ev dzer pastatxtere gtnvum en kreakan bazhnum, apa astghere xorhurd en talis paxnel depi Toxmaxi gerezmannere ev entrel sirun shirim. Pashtpanutyan naxararutyan deme xagh chanes!  Scarpiyon (Scoprio) - Glendali gogheri tsave tanelu en. Hollywoodi mafiozneri jigyare utvelu e. Isk Burbanki intelligentneri janin matagh en talu. Ete duq bnakvum eq Colorado Avenue kam Abaran Hrazdanum, apa astghere dzez hamar gushakum en mi vaxt UTUSH XMUSH. Ete duq bnakvum eq Hollywood Blvd kam Martuni gyughum, apa astghere dzez hamar naxatesum em URUSH TSAKVUSH. Namanavand ete dzer knoj anune Vartanush e. Ch'xndas!  Zenitchik (Sagittarius) - Heru dzez paheq neponyatniy kayferic, namanavand antsanot mardkanc het. Ete duq Bangladeshum obyekt uneq, apa zgushutyamb sharzhveq araj. Bangladeshi Norike verjers inch vor achk uni dra vra. Sevani trassi vra daxleq dreq, nranq dzez kberen tasnapatik ekamut. Isk en Ejmiatsni kafen aveli lava pakeq, astgheri kartsikov, ayn tak e talu.. prichem, ankap teghe. Ch'manr-munranas!  Kaziroga (Capricorn) - Puzatiy darnalu laaav tuuuyn zhamanaka! Ete dzer nalog tvoghe iran lav chi pahum, apa krisakan haskatsreq ova shefe. Ete dzer shestyorkan verjers dzer achkin ala bula e erevum, apa tixarya piskeq ed barsukin. Ete dzer chndo nanarnere irents shat en tuyl talis, apa tonkiy dzevov imats tveq vor duq "visoko sizhu daleko glyazhu" tipi mard eq. Ete dzer ministrnere dzer asatse chisht chen anum, apa shan tsets tveq irants. Lav zhamanaka president kam glxavor naxarar darnalu. Menak zguysh mnatsek, dzer grpannerum karogh en miangamits mets gumarner arajanan. Shat lav amisa Massivi chanapari vra fontan sargelu hamar (vor zhogovurde dzez siri). Astghere nuynpes dzez sirum en. Ev miayn 10000 dollarov duq karogh eq gnel astgherin ev voroshel bolori apagan. Amen mekin el pogha petk, che?  Pulpulak (Aquarius) - Upryamiy karabaxtsineri hamar sa klini tizhar shabat. Kirovakani bnakichneri hamar keghni ttu drats xiyar. Dlya moskvichey i gostey stolicy, es shabate klini.. de vonc dzez asem, ne riba ne myaso. Abaran hrazdanum Sevana lchi avazanum bnakvoch hayutyan hamar ays shabate berelu e kartoli laav berqa-havaq. Isk hamov hotov gyumretsinere inch or chiden, ediq chiden. Yerevantsineri hamar shabate berelu e tzhots u mi vaxt kayfavatner, kayfarikner, kalikutyunner, kakalutyunner, karoghutyunner, krisakanutyunner ev ayln. Mi ban el asem: dzer nosorog zokanche dzer vra krralu e. Anpayman kofei bazhake nayeluts ushadrutyun dardzreq en sev keteri vra (ispaneren: "La Zokancho De Achko"). Ch'lkstveq, ch'lazveq, ch'lrjkveq, ch'lrbanaq!  dzuk (Pisces) - Mer hargeli Hayots Banaki tsarayoghnere ays shabat uvalnyat klinen. Ete duq dembel eq u kotrats cheq, uremn tulik utelu poxaren pordzeq hum vermishel (marsoghakan processi hamar). Ete duq slon kam maladoy eq, apa dzez ays shabat zastavit en anelu chast nayoghi senyake avlel. Ete duq serzhanti ku-ku eq, apa astghere dzez kanxatesum en evs 160 or. Razvodic u naryadic chvaxenaq, isk placi banalin man ekeq koxki kazarmayum. Starikneri hamar ays shabate klini anchap karevor: chisht qayleri dimeq, ev duq kstanaq proxod. AStghere dzer het en! Ch'kotrves!
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